Weight Loss Gimmicks

Im on a Diet, but I Cant Seem to Lose Weight!

“I’m on a Diet, But I Can’t Seem to Lose any Weight!”


I read an article Thursday from the L.A. Times:

Study of diets shows what truly counts: calories

Researchers took 811 overweight people and put them on one of four diets: low-fat, average-protein; low-fat, high-protein; high-fat, average-protein; and high-fat, high-protein.  After 2 years they determined that all the diets performed the same, about 9 pounds lost.  Let’s roll up our sleeves and dig into this pile of manure!

Closer scrutiny of the study itself –

Diets That Reduce Calories Lead to Weight Loss, Regardless of Carbohydrate, Protein or Fat Content

-Shows that NONE of the diets were low in carbohydrates, in fact, the lowest percentage of calories from carbs was 35%!  Not only that, but the ones who were only supposed to eat 35% averaged an actual intake of  43%!  That’s a far cry from the 10% or less consumed by real low-carbers, yet the researchers had the audacity to give the following quote:

“There isn’t any one way. That is the nice thing about none of these diets in particular winning,” said Christopher Gardner, a nutrition researcher at Stanford University’s Prevention Research Center. “We don’t have any right to push low-fat or low-carb or high-protein. If one of these approaches is more satiating, where you will not be hungry and have cravings, that is the one that will work for you.”

Seriously?  Worst of all, they admitted that the participants had a very low rate of compliance – “It’s just too hard” – and most ended up eating very similar diets, yet this article still got published.

Here’s a better title:

Study Shows That if you Aren’t Going to Stick to Your Diet,  it Doesn’t Matter Which one you Quit.


I Didnt Know My Weight Could Lead to E.D!

"I Didn't Know My Weight Could Lead to E.D!"

<rant>In a frivolous waste of  time and money, researchers at the Albert Einstein Healthcare Network (no, really!) in Philly have determined that morbidly obese men who lost 2/3 of their extra weight after Gastric Bypass surgery (because let’s be honest, eating smaller portions of healthy food isn’t a realistic solution..) had improved sexual function.  The  Master of the Obvious  du jour is Dr. Ramsey Dallal who states:

“We estimate that a man who is morbidly obese has the same degree of sexual dysfunction as a non-obese man about 20 years older.  Sexual function improves substantially after gastric bypass surgery to a level that reaches or approaches age-based norms.  Sexual dysfunction should be considered one of the numerous potentially reversible complications of obesity.”

Gee, really?  It’s no secret that obesity causes thinning of arteries and restricts blood flow (duh fact: there’s no “bone” in a boner), and this study from two years ago determined that obesity accelerates the normal, age-related decline of testosterone in men (duh fact #2: testosterone is THE male sex hormone) by about 10 years worth.  Even a knuckle-dragger like me can do this math problem:

Obesity = Low Blood Flow + Low Testosterone = A Flaccid Soldier

And I don’t even have a medical degree.  I guess my biggest beef with the study is the implication that bariatric surgery corrected the problem, instead of the correction being a pleasant side effect of weight loss that could have been achieved through other means. Our society today is one of reward without sacrifice.  Why take responsibility for your health when you can pay someone to shrink your stomach so that only 1 Twinkie will fit at a time?  And the cold, hard truth is that many people who aren’t willing to actually change their lifestyle will regain their weight within 2 years , egg sized stomach or not. </rant>

note:  If you are suffering from too much testosterone, Scott Kustes has some great tips to help you get rid of your pesky sex drive.

I Want Your Poo!

I Want Your Poo!

My cable provider recently added BBC America to the line-up, so I have no idea how old alot of the shows on there are, but they’re new to me (except Monty Python :D) . Despite the fact that I have like 700 channels, there are inevitable periods when there is just NOTHING on.  And, just as inevitably, during that period BBC America broadcasts You Are What You Eat with Gillian McKeith.  I’m sure most of you are familiar with her, but for those who aren’t, she goes to the houses of obese people, examines their feces, and gives them outdated dietary advice.  My wife and I jokingly refer to her as “that shriveled, poo-sniffing hobbit lady”.  I really for the life of me don’t know why she loves poo so much, I mean, it’s obvious these people are unhealthy – they’re obese.  And I can tell what they eat by observing as it goes in, no post-digestion analysis required.  But I digress…

I have a love-hate kinda thing with this show.  I love that she is getting these people off of the processed carbs, sugary drinks, and excessive alcohol consumption.  I hate that she rails against fat and red meat.  My wife hates that I rail against her railing every time we watch together.  There is no way that most of these people stick to her diet.  Just looking at her depressing table full of beans and greens makes me sympathize with the moans of her “patients”.  Time and again, they say the same thing – this food is so bland.  Duh, fat tastes good.  I’ve done the low fat thing, and it sucked. Of course, they always lose a little weight. In fact, they all seem to lose exactly “2 stone”.  Water weight from reducing sugar, anyone?

I am sure she follows her own advice.  I am also sure that following her own anti-meat / fat advice is why at age 50 she looks more like 70 with no muscle tone to speak of.

I believe that instead of “You Are What You Eat”, you should “Eat What You Are”.  And, correct me if I’m wrong here, we are all made up of red meat and fat.


I see this all the time, and it drives me NUTS!  People who are 30 or more pounds overfat jogging in sauna suits.  I’m the kind of person who never laughs at an overweight person exercising.  Heck, at least they’re trying.  And I know how it feels to be that fatty puffing down the road.  But the sauna suit kills me.  The sight of these people panting in the Hawaii sun, sweat pouring down their bright red faces, makes me want to find the guy at the sporting goods store that let them walk out with that glorified trash bag and tell him what’s up.

I know, they are intended for hardcore athletes who need to drop water to make weight for whatever sport they are in.  And yes, they work great for that.  But for someone who doesn’t know the ins and outs of weight loss, or the difference between water weight and fat, these things are just dangerous.  Dehydrating yourself when you are already obviously not in the best health to begin with?  So you can jump on the scale after your death-march and say “Woo-Hoo! I lost 5 pounds!”, then wake up the next morning just as heavy as you were before and start all over.  I feel bad for these people because they need direction, and they just aren’t going to get that if their primary info source is gimmick marketers.

Wanna lose water weight?  Cut your carb intake for a few days.  Beats the hell out of hour a day of Hefty bag torture.